


Please Don’t Leave Me

by queenofdeansbooty



Series: Marvel Angst Bingo 2018 [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 01:12:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15897873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofdeansbooty/pseuds/queenofdeansbooty
Summary: You have a terrible fear of crowds and your boyfriend, Tom, doesn’t know of this. When you two encounter a college rave in the middle of the Central Park, your worst fear comes to life.





	Please Don’t Leave Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is for marvelangstbingo and the square filled was Demophobia which is the fear of crowds of people or mobs.

“I’m glad you were able to come out here and visit.” You said to your new boyfriend, Tom Hiddleston. You say “new” but you’ve been dating for 6 months and it’s been a _good_ 6 months. You met when he was in New York to do some interviews and it’s been history since that point forward. He was a complete sweetheart to you and such a gentleman in every aspect of the word.

You couldn’t find anyone else better than him. You saw yourself being with him for a very long time. However, there was still so much you didn’t know about him and him about you. You knew he lived in London most of the time which is why he was visiting you in New York.

Sometimes, you would visit him but he had a lot of money and would come visit you most of the time. You couldn’t wait to get to know more about him, what he did in London, where he liked to go for fun, what he liked to do. Most of that stuff you knew already but not the in-depth things.

And if he was going to open up to you, then you would have to do the same. You were worried about that because you had a ton of problems he didn’t know about. He met your parents which you weren’t worried about. You knew they would love him and him, them. It was your psychological problems you were scared of releasing.

You had terrible anxiety and took medicine for it. You tried not to let it show in front of Tom because you didn’t want to worry him but you got really bad panic attacks. Tom, on some level, knew you must have anxiety because you worried a lot. You got nervous a to but you tried to tone it down when you were around him. You two were still in a new relationship and you didn’t want him to worry about you and feel like you can’t take care of yourself or worse–leave you.

So, instead, you buried that demon deep down, hoping that it wouldn’t come out. So far, it’s been easy with the medicine you take but you recently ran out of it and haven’t had the time to go to the doctor to get a refill. And right now, you were very nervous. You also had social anxiety on top of your panic attacks but when you were with Tom, that went away. He was a really easy person to talk to which made life ten times easier.

“Of course, darling. I missed you.” He smiled, kissing the top of your head. Your heart fluttered as you walked with him, your hand interlocked with his.

“I’m lucky that you’re on a break from filming, otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to do things like this.” You said truthfully. You knew that before you two even met, he was filming for Infinity Wars and had been away for so long. He only came to New York because his agent booked an interview before filming ever started and he wanted to honor his promise of showing up. That’s when you met him.

Then, after you started going out, he’d been away to finish the film and only recently, has he been granted a break from it all.

“Believe it or not, I actually miss doing things like this. Lately, I’ve been so busy I can’t even breathe without it being monitored.” Tom chuckled.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that for the next 2 weeks because you’ll be here with me and all we’ll do is relax.” You promised him.

“That sounds lovely.” He smiled. You two walked hand-in-hand through central park, enjoying the weather and the sounds of nature. It was early enough that there weren’t a lot of people around to bother you two. You knew you would have to get out soon because then people would surround you–Tom–and ask for pictures. If you get caught in that, you were never leaving.

“So, I was thinking maybe after this we can go back to my apartment and we can do one of two things. We can either spend the whole day watching movies or… what is going on there?” You rounded a corner and saw people set up what looks to be an outside concert. A lot of college-looking people were outside, getting hype for what was about to come.

“I think it’s a rave,” Tom said, not really minding the crowd but you did. You needed to get to the other side of the park but this crowd was so huge, you knew you’d have to pass through it instead of around it.

“Why don’t we go back the way we came?” You tried but Tom kept walking towards the crowd that was growing larger by the minute.

“It’s alright, darling. It’s not that big. We’ll just pass through and we’ll be home in no time. I don’t know what your other option was, but I do like the sound of movies all day.” Tom smiled. You gulped silently and walked to the crowd, your grip on his hand tightening.

“Alright, but please, don’t leave my side okay?” You asked, walking closer to him.

“Afraid of a little group of people, are we?” Tom chuckled. You knew he wasn’t afraid of crowds since all he did was be around people. It was in his nature, this was such an easy task for him but not to you. You saw this as one huge wall filled with demons, ready to break you down to prevent you from getting to the other side. You knew these people wouldn’t hurt you but the demons would and you were scared of what they could do to you if you let them in.

“Something like that,” you chuckled nervously.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be right here,” Tom assured you, walking into the crowd. Your breathing picked up slightly but you tried to get it under control. The only thing you stared at was Tom’s shoes. You couldn’t bear to look the demons right in the eye. Eyes were the windows to the soul and if you so much as cracked those windows open to them, they would swarm in and drown you.

“Excuse me, pardon me. Sorry,” Tom said as he pushed through the people. The concert wasn’t starting yet since they were still getting set up but that didn’t stop people from crowding around the stage.

“Is that Tom Hiddleston?” You heard some people say from behind you. _No, please don’t ask for pictures. I just want to get out of here._ You made the mistake of looking up and saw a group of girls approach your boyfriend with smiles on their faces.

“Hi, can we have some pictures?” One of the girls shyly asked.

“Yeah, we’re big fans of you. I love Loki.” Another girl said.

“You said Thor was your favorite.” A third girl butt in.

“Yeah, but I love Loki.” The second girl blushed and pushed the third girl away.

“Sure, I can do pictures.” Tom chuckled before letting go of your hand.

“No, but…” You trailed off, not wanting to be away from him. Things could get worse if you weren’t near him.

“It’s okay, darling, I’ll only be gone a second. Just a few pictures and we can be on our way.” He said before moving away from you to take pictures with the girls. You bit your lip and watched as the girls crowded around Tom for a group photo and then they wanted to take some individual ones which Tom didn’t seem to mind doing.

You looked around at the demons that seemed to be getting closer to you. _No, I won’t let you in. Leave me alone. You don’t get to control me._ More people started showing up to this event which made the crowd get closer together. Your breathing picked up and your anxiety levels spiked. Your eyes watered from the fear of being swallowed whole and you looked around for your boyfriend but didn’t see him.

“Tom?” You called out but everyone was talking and you knew he couldn’t hear you. Your heart started beating faster, trying to get the blood rushing faster and the adrenaline going to calm you down but it wasn’t working.

You tried to take in a deep breath but you couldn’t seem to get enough oxygen in your lungs. Instead of taking long, deep breaths, you were taking quick, short ones which were really bad for you. You would start hyperventilating and you could pass out if you didn’t get away from these people.

You tried pushing past people but there were so many of them, that the end goal seemed impossible for you at this point. You tried finding a way out of this maze but it wasn’t working. Black spots started crowding your vision which made it difficult to find the one person you wanted to be near. _How long does a fucking picture take?_

Your breathing was getting worse by the second and if people would just quiet down, then they would notice something is wrong. You tried to walk but ended up bumping into someone.

“Hey, watch it.” They said without looking at you.

“Sorry,” you tried to say. Tears streamed down your face as you pushed through people. Your lungs started burning from the lack of oxygen but no matter what, it seemed like you couldn’t get enough of it in.

You stumbled when you missed your footing and ran into someone’s back. They turned around to speak to you but you shook your head.

“Sorry…” You gasped and looked up to see none other than Tom.

“Whoa, Y/N, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Tom tried to see if there were any injuries and you shook your head.

“Can’t… breathe… people…” You took in short breaths, your head hurting from the lack of oxygen.

“Is she okay?” One of the girls who approached you and Tom earlier asked.

“No, I need you to get back. Give her some space, please.” Tom instructed. They all nodded and told everyone else to get back and soon enough, there was at least a ten-foot radius around you.

“You can’t breathe?” Tom asked.

“Panic… Attack…” You gasped and grasped onto his shirt tightly, staring into his eyes. You let your own fall and that seemed to give Tom all the incentive he needed to help you.

“Alright, you need to start breathing with me, darling. Take a deep breath in.” Tom said, showing you how to do it. You tried but you couldn’t and you shook your head.

“I can’t. Tom, I can’t.” You panicked, looking around to see hundreds of black demons, ready to devour you any minute.

“Yes, you can, darling. Just breathe with me.” Tom said taking your hand and putting it on his chest. The longer he kept it there, the more the demons went away. Whatever he was doing, it was working.

“Look at me,” Tom said and you snapped your head so you were staring into his eyes. You watched the rise and fall of his shoulders and you tried to do the same. It took a while but soon, your breathing matched his and all those black demons weren’t near you anymore. They were safely tucked away behind a stone wall.

“You’re okay. I’m right here.” Tom whispered before wiping your tears away for you.

“I’m okay.” You whispered and nodded.

“Come on,” Tom helped you up and led you away from the group of people. You were glad they created a path for you to go through because you couldn’t go through that again. Tom led you to a bench away from everyone else and you sat on it, not looking at him in the eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You sniffled.

“Why are you sorry? For having a panic attack?”

“For not telling you. I just hate crowds. I get very bad attacks when I’m in them and when you went away, I couldn’t find you and it happened. I’m just sorry.” You sighed and hung your head low. Tom sighed and he put two fingers under your chin and lifted it so that you were staring into his eyes.

“You don’t have to apologize to me. I should have known you were scared of crowds. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have made you go through it. I don’t want you to feel pressured to tell me everything about you right now but I don’t want you to hide this from me. You scared me for a minute there. I was really worried.” Tom stroked your cheek with his thumb gently.

“Okay, I won’t hide this from you.” You cracked a smile. Tom looked up and he smiled before looking back into your eyes.

“Now, why don’t we end this crazy event with some movies all night?” You looked up and saw your apartment building right in front of you. You made it through it all. You came out of the end, winning that battle.

“Can we watch The Dark World?” You asked, looking back at him. He just smiled and nodded.

“Of course.” He got up and took your hand, walking to your building.

“What about the first Thor?”

“Sure, darling.”

“And the first Avengers?”

“You just want to watch me, don’t you?” Tom asked with a smile, looking down at you.

“Yeah. Loki is my favorite character.” You admitted. He laughed and pulled you close, kissing your head.

“We can watch all of it, my love.”


End file.
